FAQ
What should I do first?
If you are seeking help, the first thing you can do is attend a meeting and announce yourself as a newcomer.
How do meetings work?
Most of our meetings center around studying the Big Book. You can hear recovered codependents talk about the solution for our problem, chronic codependency. Each meeting has its own guidelines, but we generally do not engage in personal shares, unless the format is a speaker qualification. We invite newcomers to announce themselves (usually at the half-hour mark), and at the end of the meeting, recovered sponsors leave their contact information. We encourage you to reach out to any recovered members, whether you think you want a sponsor or not. It is often helpful to hear a recovered codependent’s experience.
What does it mean to be “recovered”?
People who have recovered have had a spiritual awakening as the result of working the steps and are actively living in steps 10, 11, and 12 on a daily basis. They have a sponsor, and they are actively carrying a message of recovery and are sponsoring other chronic codependents. When we are recovered, we are not cured of our codependency. We have a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance and growth of our spiritual program.
What is a sponsor? How do I choose one?
A sponsor is a person who will guide you through the steps if you have the willingness to follow their instructions. The Big Book asks — do you want what we have? A sponsor is someone who has had a spiritual awakening and has the recovery that you want. Sponsor-protégé relationships are long-term. Each recovered codependent has a sponsor who serves as a spiritual advisor and guides them as they work the program.
Can I go through steps without a sponsor?
You are free to use the 12 steps whichever way you choose. They are available to all without restriction. In our fellowship, we strongly suggest that you have a sponsor, as we discovered that solitary self-appraisal is insufficient. We need the help of a sponsor to see ourselves with complete honesty.
Will this program help me set boundaries with others?
Is this a religious program?
You might notice some prayers and the word “God” used during the meetings. However, this is not a religious program. You are free to understand and define your Higher Power however you wish. We have no doctrine on what that Power should be for you. This is a spiritual program of action, and we learn to rely on our Higher Power – God as we understand God – in all matters by working the steps on a daily basis.