Am I a chronic codependent?
Codependent thinking/behavior:
You obsess about people and relationships.
You try to control what others do or say.
You may engage in people-pleasing behaviors.
You may be pushy and demanding.
You take things personally and are concerned about self-image.
Normal people can moderate or stop their codependent thinking/behavior.
What we have tried:
Therapy. Willpower. Inner child work. Attachment styles. Love languages. Coaching. Medication. Seminars. Workshops. Podcasts. Gurus. Travel. Retreats. Self-help books. Journaling. Cutting people out of our lives. Swearing off relationships or romance entirely. Setting boundaries. Isolation. Self-care. Moving. Affirmations. New friends. New hobbies. Getting a new job. Support groups. Just saying no. Accountability buddies. EMDR. Hypnosis.
…and so on.
For us as chronic codependents, none of this worked.
On page 44 of the Big Book we are asked two qualifying questions:
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking¹, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic². If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.
¹Engaging in codependent thinking or behaviors ²Chronic codependent
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